We need to talk about Beto.

1. Scott Rosenberg and David McCabe, Axios: No, Beto O’Rourke did not live-stream his teeth cleaning on Instagram — any more than Al Gore ever actually claimed to have invented the internet.
2. Crenshaw pulled no punches against his fellow Texan, taking him to task for bringing Instagram live viewers with him to a recent dentist appointment as he got his teeth cleaned. 'If you get your.

Beto O'Rourke Beto O'Rourke Texas Republican criticizes Cruz for Cancun trip: 'When a crisis hits my state, I'm there' Progressives target 'Cancun Cruz' in ad to run on 147 Texas radio.

You probably saw it on Thursday: Beto O’Rourke—who came this close to almost beating Ted Cruz—went to the dentist. And, well, this happened:

Is this the world you want to live in? Because it is definitely not the world I want to live in.

Hey there, it’s Mitch McConnell and I had Indian food that didn’t agree with me last night and let me show you something . . .

I’m 2020 presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren and like you, dear working-class voter, my feet are sore. Let me share some photos.

How did this happen?

I’d like to blame Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez because she Instagrams everything. AOC is infinitely charming and she won and now, because imitation is the sincerest form of politics, every ambitious pol in America is in an arms race to see who can be the most the most transparent, visible, “normal” person on social media.

How To Get Your Teeth Cleaned

But while AOC may have perfected the current state of the art, she’s not the OG relatable politico. Remember the weirdness of Trump’s Twilight tweets? And before that, there was Bill Clinton’s boxers-versus-briefs gambit—look, he’s just like us! And before that the Kennedy tour of the White House. In each instance, the motivating idea was to pull back the curtain a little bit further to reveal the “real,” “authentic” people.

And in each case—like with AOC’s laundry-time video and Beto’s teeth cleaning—people went kind of crazy for it.

But here’s the thing: When people look at the popularity of this sharing they’re mistaking cause and effect. Do you know why Kennedy and Clinton and AOC and Beto’s sharing works? Because of them. They are—every one them, for better or worse—charismatic and interesting. Even Trump, in his own way, is a star.

So the lesson pols should take isn’t, Hey, if I put my proctology appointment on Insta I’ll be a star! Be honest: If John Garamendi put his up pics of his dentist’s appointment, would anyone think it was cool? No. They would not.

And most politicians are more like the John Garamendi than Beto O’Rourke: That is to say, they’re actually normal people who happen to have spent their careers climbing the ladder of professional politics. And the ugly truth of human nature is that we don’t want to see actually normal people doing normal things. We want to see stars doing normal things so that we can pretend they’re just like us.

Fake Hispanic Beto O’Rourke’s presidential campaign is looking doornail dead … and let’s be honest: it never really took off. But after peaking nationally with 9.5 percent support in the Real Clear Politics poll of polls, he has now collapsed to just 3.2 percent support. And along the way, he dropped from third place (behind 275-year-old Bernie and 189-year-old Biden) to sixth.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

If you recall, Paddy O’Rourke was once America’s wunderkind, the next John or Bobby, the phenom who could turn Texas blue, Mr. Charisma, the White Obama, the guy whose youth, energy, charm, and wokeness would make him The Great Trump Slayer who ushered in the next Progressive Era!

So what happened?

How did the Shamrock King get his Lucky Charms stolen?

1. Ted Cruz Is No Longer the Villain

Beto is a totally fabricated media sensation, and the reason the media fabricated that sensation was in the hopes of defeating Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), a Republican the media hate with enough fury to turn Beto the Dweeb into Beto the KoolKidFutureOfAmerica.

And to Beto and the media’s credit, they nearly defeated Cruz. That election was a lot closer than it should have been.

But without Cruz as your villain, without Cruz as the standard upon which your cool factor is measured, the leprechaun stands alone, and when the leprechaun stands alone, he’s just a dweeby little leprechaun.

Without Cruz, the media lost interest in protecting and shaping Beto into something’s he’s not, and without the full force of the media pouring all of their propaganda powers into one man to make him Bobby Kennedy, all that’s left is Beto, and Beto is not all that impressive on his own.

2. Beto Is a Spaz

Look at this….

I am running to serve you as the next president. The challenges we face are the greatest in living memory. No one person can meet them on their own. Only this country can do that, and only if we build a movement that includes all of us. Say you're in: https://t.co/EKLdkVET2upic.twitter.com/lainXyvG2n

— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) March 14, 2019

Look at this…

And now look at this…

I rest my case.

3. Beto Combines the Worst of Kerry, Biden, Ted Kennedy, Obama, Warren

Beto married an heiress like John F’n Kerry; he drives like Ted Kennedy (including his attempt to drunkenly flee the scene); he is as miserly as Joe Biden in his charitable giving; like Obama, he has no real experience but has a very high opinion of himself; and he is an Irishman posing as a Hispanic in the same way Elizabeth Warren posed as an American Indian.

On top of that, he was a hacker who stole other people’s credit card numbers.

This is one flawed leprechaun.

4. Straight. White. Male.

When you are running to be nominated for president by a political party obsessed with identity politics (because they have no ideas), being a straight, white guy is a major deficit — especially when you are up against two other straight, white males (Biden and Bernie) who already enjoy a sizable following.

On the identity politics front, the only thing Beto has going for him is that he’s a beta male, not at all masculine, but betas don’t win presidential elections.

If Beto the beta were smart, he would reboot his candidacy for a third time by announcing he is transitioning into a woman. This would not only shake up his campaign; we would all believe him.

5. Trump Has His Number and Everyone Knows It

“Pocahontas.” “Low Energy Jeb.” “Little Marco.” “Crazy Bernie.” “Alfred E. Neuman.” “Crooked Hillary.”

Beto O'rourke Getting His Teeth Cleaned

The key to defeating someone is to define them before they can define you. Trump’s genius is his ability to do this with a nickname that sticks … and has the additional benefit of getting under that person’s skin because it’s true.

Trump never bothered to hit O’Rourke with a nickname, but once he ridiculed Beto’s flailing arm movements, everyone knew it was over.

“I think he’s got a lot of hand movement,” Trump said. “I’ve never seen so much hand movement. I said, ‘Is he crazy or is that just how he acts?’ I’ve never seen so much hand movement. I watched him a little while this morning. … I’ve actually never seen anything quite like it. Study it. I’m sure you’ll agree. ”

You cannot win a presidential election if you are this easy to ridicule, and Beto is absurdly easy to mock.

6. Beto the Gaffe Machine

• Farmers need to give up their fair share of crops to fight global warming.
• Beto eats dirt, literally.
• Illegal aliens from Central America and Mexico are today’s cotton pickers.
• “I’m just born” to be president.
• “Nobody is born to be president — least of all me.”
• “Yes, absolutely. I would take the wall down” that currently keeps illegal aliens from flooding into El Paso.
• Watch me get my teeth cleaned.
• Watch me get a haircut.

…and on and on and on…

7. No Vision

Other than trying to appease the extreme left, I have no idea what Beto stands for, where he wants to take the country. All he does is run around, stand on the places where people eat their food, flail like a maniac, and spew platitudes…

He’s not a presidential candidate as much as he’s a middle-aged child out on a journey to explore himself.

Beto’s not a leader; he’s a wanderer.

—

Without it being Beto vs. Cruz or Beto vs. a Republican, the media are no longer interested in protecting him from his spazzy self, and without those billions and billions of dollars in corporate propaganda turning him into something he’s not, Beto’s just a weird little entitled white guy leprechaun who married money and still doesn’t give to charity.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.